


Research

by Antares10



Series: Banned-Together-Bingo-2020 fics [12]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Banned Together Bingo, Ford being weird, Implied Bestiality, Other, Post-Weirdmageddon, Prompt: Hamster Sex Scene, implied Ford/giant hamster - Freeform, implied casual bestiality in Gravity Falls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27355087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares10/pseuds/Antares10
Summary: Ford tells a story form his travels.He sometimes forgets how the whole society thing works however.Stan is the voice of reason and that is saying something.
Relationships: Implied Ford/giant Hamster
Series: Banned-Together-Bingo-2020 fics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802935
Kudos: 6
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Research

**Hamster Sex scene – Ford**

Stan and Ford didn't visit often. It was just a simple fact and Dipper had accepted that. Like, really, he did!

It was just natural. The two of them were on a boat on all kinds of adventures together nowadays, in the arctic waters and sometimes in the warm climate of the Bahamas and sometimes in the far away waters of northern Europa.

So they didn't have much time to swing by but they tried! And when they managed... well it was the best!

Dipper and Mabels parents would usually use the evenings the Stan twins stayed over to go out on their own, happy to leave their kids to their Grunkels. So they usually had Stan and Ford all to themselves and that meant mostly takeout, hot coco in the living room and lots of stories and souvenirs from all corners of the world.

It was strange, in a way. Before their magical and supernatural summer spend in Gravity Falls he and Mabel did know Grunkel Stan only in passing. They were aware he was around and they sometimes heard their parents talk about him. But all in all? They managed 12 years very well without him being a constant in their life.

And now, after their adventure together, after Gnomes and family karaoke, after fishing trips and Giddeon, after Bill Cipher and rescuing Great Uncle Ford... it was kinda hard to imagine a life without their Grunkel and his brother.

And for Dipper, it was kinda hard to imagine a life without the journals!

He had his own now, of course. There wasn't much paranormal and weird things happening around where they lived, but he still wrote in them, tried to collect his thoughts and observations of anything unusual around and whenever he could, he would show them to Ford during the rare visits.

“Dipper, my boy, those are fantastic!”, exclaimed Ford while looking over Dippers notes and sketches of a squirrel that probably was something else. (the long teeth and the unusual hair he found around it's preferred resting tree was a dead giveaway!) “You put a lot of work into this, did you?”

Dipper flushed slightly at the praise (he DIDN'T made a high-pitched sound anymore! He did get better in his hero-worship for Ford. But well... a tiny bit of it did remain. He was still THE AUTHOR!).

“Thanks, Great uncle Ford...”, he said shyly while Ford ruffled his hair.

“So a squirrl that isn't really one, huh?”, he said. “There are quite a lot creatures out there that do look quite like some of our native animals but bear lots of strange and dangerous features.”

Grunkel Stan snorted a bit, leaning back into the couch he is sitting on, legs propped up and a warm blanket over his lap. Mabel was sitting next to him, showing him her scrap-book with photos from her latest wax figures and her first experiments with taxidermy.

“Something you want to say, Stanley?”

“No, no. You seem to be all on a run with the strange spookums.”, he snorted. “But you called the strange chicken we saw last week “strange and dangerous” too and it turned out the only strange thing with it was that it roasted itself.”

  
“It was a Bellatric Agicock! Those can be very very dangerous if they manage to roost somewhere unnoticed!”, protested Ford. “I saw a flock of them burn down half a city once!”

“And the one we saw could be killed like a normal chicken ONTOP of it just turning to ash if you spray it with water.” snorted Stan. “Relax.”

“What other strange creatures did you find?” asked Dipper before his great uncled could start again with their bickering.

  
“Yeah, did you find a dolphin that was a beautiful princess?”, asked Mabel. “Or a pig that was a horse in disguise?”

Ford chuckled a bit before he opened his bag which was still standing at his feet and pulled out a heavy book, similar to his journals.

A part of Dipper went “THERE ARE MORE JOURNALS????” in his head but he managed to keep mostly quiet. There was just a small excited noise coming from him as Ford opened his book and searched for a specific page.

“There were indeed lots of very strange creatures.” he said. “I have a fine example here... and there is an interesting story to it...”

“STORY TIME!”, exclaimed Mabel excited and Dipper almost joined her.

Ford seemed to preen a bit at the attention as even Stan looked interested now. He opened the book and grinned at all three of them, voice turning to a hush not unlike Stan did whenever he told his little stories for the twins, stories which you would never quite know if they are true or false or something in between.

“It was during my time between the dimensions.”, explained Ford. “I was at it for a few years already and I was quite nicely outfitted. I stumped upon a dimension that wasn't that different from ours, but the weirdness was much stronger there. I needed a few parts for the machine that allowed me to hop between dimensions, so I needed money. I had made quite a name for myself in some corners of the multiverse and so I was hired for my talents for research and observation...”

_A younger Ford was hiding in some bushes as he was listening intensely for the rustle of the underbrush and the snapping of twigs. He had followed this trail for days now._

“ _Just track down these creatures and observe” was his official order and he was intending to do just that... it was just tricky._

_Despite the creature supposedly being quite big it seemed to move quite silently and quickly and also only by night. It had taken days until Ford was relatively sure to be very close to the burrow of the creature._

_There! A shrill noise was heard and a heavy thumb shook the earth and Ford scrambled to leave his hiding spot and climb a tree just in time to see the bush under him be crushed by a big shadow-like creature._

_Collecting his bearing he took out his nightvision glasses to get a better look on what he was hunting. It was certainly big but it looked also familiar... he made a quick sketch right there in the tree and when looking at his picture it hit him. It was..._

“IT'S A HAMSTER!” cheered Mabel as she saw the sketch Ford showed them. “Oh my GOSH you were watching big hamsters?”

“Well, those were about as big as a cow.”, chuckled Ford. “But otherwise they were remarkingly similar to our earthly _Mesocricetus auratus_ . They were just bigger and well... had a taste for flesh.”

“Mom said that goldhamster need some meat too.” chipped Mabel. “So we gave Hammy some chicken from time to time.”

Ford blinked at that information. “Really now?”

“Yep! Once we got him a grasshopper and he hunted it!”, said Mabel. “It was so funny, he mostly ran over it before finding it.”

Ford was looking at his journal. “Looks like the creatures I hunted were more like our goldhamsters than I thought.”, he mumbled while Stan chuckled a tiny bit.

“What happened after that?”, asked Dipper.

“Ah, yeah, I was still explaining, huh?”, said Ford.

_Ford ended up following the giant hamster, or Mesocricetus maximus, as he was calling it, for a few more days. It did have a rather set routine: Get out, forage for some food, mostly nuts, fruits, berries and young foliage, and (in one case) a old looking deer that wasn't fast enough to run away. Ford had to admit that seeing a creature that looked like the friendly critters Fiddleford adored, tear into a fresh carcass was kinda off-putting_

_They also had a really keen sense of smell as Ford noticed, so he made sure to get some of the scent of the critter on himself when he found some of its fur sticking to some tree bark. It was a lot easier to come closer to the creature after that, it being not bothered by his presents as long as Ford continued to be quiet and not in eye-sight much._

_He did get some really good observations out of it and was sure that his research would be exactly what was expected of him. Easy money for him and one step closer to either home or banishing Bill from the multiverse for good._

“And the real dangerous stuff came after I came across another creature.” Ford said. “What I didn't know at the time was that it was mating season for the Mesocricetus maximus and I realized to late that the one I was following was a female. And well...”

“Aaaand that is the part where you stop.” interrupted Stan, glaring at Ford. “You got your research, the nerds payed you, you got to continue your nerd-trip, the end.”

  
“But Grunkel Stan...”, both Dipper and Mabel whined but Stan wasn't hearding any of it.

“Nope. Story time is over. So is awake-time. Bathroom and then bed, both of you!”

Both Dipper and Mabel grumbled about the order but they did finally relent and did what they were told.

Well... almost. Because Dipper could never leave a mystery alone so he snook back to the living-room door just in time to hear both Stan and Ford argue quietly.

“... can't belive you told them something like this!”

“They are 15 now, it's not...”

“Oh don't give me that! I am pushing 70 and I don't feel ready for stuff like that!”

“You are not pushing 70 and it's not that bad.”

“Not that bad? You wrote down all sorts of details in this!”

“... you pickpocketed it and read it?”

“Geez, it's like you don't know me at all. Of COURSE I did! And that's why I don't want the kids to read stuff like that, Geez! I know you got trouble with the whole “society” thing and I know Gravity Falls was always super lax with the whole animal thing but Jesus Christ, Ford, use what little common sense you have!”

“It wasn't like I married one of them!”

“Aaaaaand I don't even wanna know. Look, you don't ask me about the weird stuff I am up to, and I won't ask you about your kinks.”

“STANLEY!”

Well, needless to say, Dipper disappeared with a very very strong blush to his bed and ignored Mabel's questions about the whole matter.

He adored his grunkels but there were things he rather didn't know... His imagination did sadly provide him with way to vivid images already...

This was going to be a loooooong night.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Banned Together Bingo 2020, prompt: Hamster Sex Scene. 
> 
> Look, I... uh... I couldn't write the sex scene with a hamster in the end. BUT it's implied.   
> Also did anybody notice just how much casual bestiality is in Gravity Falls? It's kinda weird. But that made me pick that fandom for that prompt. Also Ford is weird. Nuff said. XD


End file.
